


I DIDN'T KILL HIM BRO

by orphan_account



Category: NicoB - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 09:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8008966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I didn't murder him!" yeah that sounds fake but ok... nico... if that's even ur real name</p>
            </blockquote>





	I DIDN'T KILL HIM BRO

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this with 24 hours no sleep??? do i die??? ABSOLUTELY.....

Nico hesitated at the sight of the court room, or what he had originally anticipated to be a court room. Many people were arguing due to the circumstances of the upcoming trial, and by upcoming I mean it’s fifteen minutes late.  
“Silence!” A loud voice beckoned, slamming his hand on the table. “As you can see, there have been many budget cuts because our bosses do not care about the law and are slaves to capitalism we had to change locations for this ca-!”  
“Sir, please do not scream.” A person muttered, completely ignored.  
“Anyways, for case number 666969420…” The Judge felt his eyes twitch, why was he in charge of this case… “We are here to determine if this man in front of us, Nico B…” Was his last name just B? What a weird name! And his name was The!  
“Um sir…” Nico interrupted, to which he was immediately cut off.  
“Today we are here to determine if he was responsible for the murder of Morishige… Uh… Whatever his name was.” The Judge declared, “Speaking of which… Mr. B… where is your lawyer?”  
“Uh… Sir… I don’t know but-“ Nico tried to explain, this situation was clearly ridiculous! His lawyer was late! To his trial! Come on he was putting his life on the line here… Life in prison or…!  
“Sorry I’m late…!” Said a certain nasally voice which brought shivers down upon Nico’s spine, oh no… It couldn’t be him..! Nico frantically looked around at the entrance to see his Lucky Lawyer dressed in a suit, holding… Starbucks…?  
Naegi took a seat down next to Nico, so this was his lawyer huh… He was obviously straight out of law school, Nico prayed to god, he could bullshit his way out of this trial.  
“Anyways uh here’s the first witness, Bernie B… Please someone pick up the dog.” The Judge requested, and Nico paused.  
What…?  
As his dog was lifted, many people awaited in anticipation of the upcoming words to be spoken.  
“Wait. Did you just break into my house? Wait, hold on–!”  
“Silence!”  
Bernie can’t even talk…!  
“Well you see, it was many a day ago when I awoke from my usual snooze.”  
What the fuck.  
“It was a good day, I was screaming at the beautiful lady in the mirror who looks like me, when I heard a scream. Naturally only one idiotic person has such a distasteful voice, as my cute little paws scattered around on wood flooring. I saw-“  
Bernie trailed off for a second, her nose sniffing the air wildly, she smelled something good, but then immediately focused… She was in a case!  
Nico was wondering if his dog was really this narcissistic or if he accidentally took some drugs, nothing made sense anymore. What the fuck was going on…?! His dog couldn’t talk last time he checked….  
“Nico with a dead body.”  
“Wait, what? No I didn’t!” Nico objected, then he remembered his mistake. Why his dog would lie under oath… of course…! It’s because he didn’t give her a treat last time…!  
No wait, this is a joke, he’s just a normal guy he can’t be accused of murdering an unlikable character from some mediocre borderline porn game. This is ridiculous! His dog wouldn’t try to get him sent to jail because he didn’t give her a treat! This is dumb…! He can’t pretend it makes sense!  
Naegi looked at him horrified.  
“Do you object to any of these claims, Mr. Bizzle?”  
“Um… yeah?”  
“Okay so last night I wasn’t even home! The AC was broken! It’s too gross to be there!” Yeah! Perfect excuse! Totally not missing an alibi though!  
“Ah, please sir no yelling…” A voice said putting up their hands.  
“Silence!”  
“But I…”  
“Sir! If you’re going to hold a court case in a restaurant! Please do it elsewhere! We are a McDonalds! “ The employee yelled. “We don’t care how many McTurkey’s you buy! Please leave you’re making the other guests uncomfortable!”  
2 B CONTINUE? MAYBE. LMAO NO.


End file.
